Tiger on the Shelf (One-Shot)
by 11JJ11
Summary: Calvin has grown up, and his life couldn't be better: he has a job, friends, a steady relationship with his parents. He is perfectly happy with his life, except for one thing. He still sees his stuffed tiger, Hobbes, come to life. [One-shot, no shippings.]


An old clock ticked on the wall as a young man leaned hunched over his messy desk. A pair of glasses sat over his small round nose as he pressed a worn down pencil to a piece of paper. One hand ran through his messy blond hair as he sketched a small image on the paper. After a moment he drew back, looking down at his work. He sighed, shaking his head, and tossed the paper away. He pulled up a fresh white sheet, and began once more.

The spaceship was the easiest to draw, a small red spacecraft with a rounded top where a small figure could be seen inside. He pressed his lips together as he began to draw the figure that looked suspiciously like himself.

'So the Spaceman Spiff gets a comeback, while I sit up here?' A familiar voice asked, making the artist paused. He closed his eyes muttering under his breath, and resumed sketching, but with a bit more intensity. The voice didn't seem amused, ' _Calvin,'_ It snapped coldly, 'I know you can hear me.'

Calvin's hands tightened around the pencil, "Yes," He replied stiffly, "Of course you 'know' that, I mean, who else would be able to?" He asked sarcastically, dropping the pencil. Calvin spun around in his chair, glaring up at a shelf behind him. It was probably the tidiest place in his studio, but the dustiest as well.

The wooden shelf sat up high, a thick board that was able to support the old, rusty, red wagon that sat on it. The wagon had a crooked tire, several dents, and needed a paint job. A black umbrella with several holes laid in the cart of the wagon, along with a coil of raveling rope. But the object that everyone always pointed out was the old, patched, stuffed tiger.

Calvin didn't remember where he had received the tiger toy at, perhaps a gift from a relative or a prize from a fair. But the tiger had been the highlight of his childhood, with the toy appearing in nearly every memory the young artist could think of. But the tiger didn't appear as a limp, stuffed toy; but rather as a living, breathing, moving tiger. Calvin would have chuckled at his imagination as a child, which still ran rampant now, but one thing was holding him back from enjoying his childhood memories.

The fact that the tiger still moved today.

It wasn't all the time that his former best friend Hobbes would come 'alive' like he had as a child, on the days when Calvin entered the studio down the street from his house he would quickly glance up at the shelf of memories, and he would see the toy tiger slumping in the wagon, covered in dust, but most definitely a toy. Calvin would always sigh with relief and say a silent prayer that the toy would be like that for the day.

But it never seemed to stay that way for long, because everyday the tiger would always come to life.

'No one,' Hobbes responded quietly after a moment, 'No one else can hear me,' The tiger looked at him with a sad expression, and Calvin rolled his eyes.

"That's right," Calvin said, as if talking to a small child, "No one can hear you, because you aren't really alive. You are a figment of my imagination, and proof to me that I'm not all here," He pointed to his head, then turned away, "I still don't know how my parents put up with me, I was out of control... I had issues alright..."

'We were out of control,' Hobbes agreed, 'But it was fun, wasn't it? All those times we would spend together...' Hobbes whispered in a hushed voice, 'I miss it, I miss it so much...'

"No you don't!" Calvin snapped, "You don't miss anything- you can't miss anything! Now be quiet and let me work!" Cavin picked up his fallen pencil, huffing, "You're lucky I don't have the guts to admit to anyone that I'm hallucinating you still... I probably need medication, at least I can tell what's real and what's not..." He muttered, "As a kid I could pass it for vivid imagination, but now..." He looked at the picture of Spaceman Spiff, then tossed it aside, "I have work to do," He said, opening a drawer and pulling out his illustrations for a children's story at he was working on with a friend.

'I thought the reason you became an artist was so you could enjoy work,' Hobbes commented as Calvin pulled out some water colors, 'Not so you're more stressed.'

If you had told six-year-old Calvin that he would be spending his life career in a small room doodling he would have probably laughed and nailed you with several snowballs. But ever since he had entered middle school Calvin had discovered that he could express the stories and thoughts running through his mind with a simple piece of paper. Though his teachers had yelled at him when they had discovered him drawing away instead of taking notes, he couldn't stop. And no matter what his parents and teachers thought, doodling in class actually helped him focus. For the first time he could listen in on the lessons, and his parents soon stopped bothering with his drawings as they watched his grades rise. Though they weren't A's, the C's and even the occasional B's had been celebrated at home. And when he had received his first A, in his art class, Calvin had found his relationship with his parents improving, less yelling and demands, and more interactions and communication. He started making friends, socializing, he was _happy._

The only thing that bothered Calvin was the fact that his tiger was still as animated as it had been in his childhood. What should have faded as he matured stayed as alive as ever, and that's when Calvin had began to worry about his mental health, was there something wrong with him?

But the fear of how others would react if they realized he hallucinated such things kept his mouth shut. Would they look at him differently? Think he needed be locked up and drugged on medication as if that were a treatment? And with him having friends for the first time in his life he couldn't bare the thought of confessing that his imaginary friend had carried on to his high school years.

And now into his adult years.

"The only thing that's stressing me out is you," Calvin replied coldly.

'Please Calvin,' Hobbes whimpered, 'Get me down from this shelf, don't do this to me. Don't leave me up here, I don't want to be alone anymore.'

"I could have thrown you away!" Calvin screamed, anger entering his voice, "I _should_ have thrown you away! That probably would have solved the problem!" Calvin slid his glasses up onto his forehead, glaring up at Hobbes, "But who knows what I'll be seeing next if you leave! Probably something that I can't keep somewhat under control!" Calvin started to shake, "Something I can't hide..."

'Calvin-'

"If you're real then why don't come down here then?!" Calvin cried, "If you were able to pounce on me every time I stepped foot into my house as a kid, then why don't you knock me out of my seat! Come on, _do it!"_ Frustration and bitterness lined his face, "Prove that you're real!"

Hobbes regarded his former best friend, 'I can't,' He said sadly, 'Ever since you put me up here I haven't been able to move from this spot,' He shifted in the old wagon, looking down at his paws, 'But I get it,' Hobbes muttered, 'You need to work, I'll- I'll be quiet...'

"Good," Calvin snapped, slipping the glasses back on, 'And of course you can't move- not without me dragging you along."

To his relief Hobbes didn't reply. He risked another glance up onto the shelf, and there was only an old stuffed tiger sitting there. He relaxed a bit, the rest of the day would be a quiet one. Calvin turned back to his work, humming softly, maybe he wasn't sane, but he could control it.

* * *

"Ms. Derkins," Calvin said the next day as someone entered his studio, "How nice of you to drop by, could I interest you in a squid eye sandwich?"

"Ha ha," Susie Derkins said dryly, "Very funny Calvin," But a smile appeared on her face, "How's the illustrations coming along?"

Calvin pulled out the folder with the water colors he had been working on yesterday, "All done," He replied, "I stayed here late last night, things were... quiet, so I was able to finish them."

Susie peered through the paintings, shaking her head, "I'd have never guessed that the annoying kid down the street would one day be a civilized artist. These look amazing Calvin, they will go perfectly with my newest story," Susie was a child psychologist, with a Phd to back her up, but also wrote children's stories in her free time, which Calvin often illustrated. Though former rivals, the two managed to make amends from their childhood years after working on a project in a high school creative writing class together. Though now close, they never saw each other as anything more than friends, though Calvin would never admit he did once have a crush on her as a kid.

"And I'd never thought that Susie Derkins would set foot near me after elementary school," Calvin replied, smirking. Susie rolled her eyes, looking around the room. Her eyes caught sight of Calvin's old wagon and a certain tiger sitting inside, and her eyes lit up.

"You still have Hobbes?" She cooed, "How long has he been up there? I never noticed that you had him in your studio."

Calvin's eyes turned stormy as he looked up at the bane of his working day, "He's supposed to be out of sight," He muttered, "But putting him in storage didn't end well for me..." He paused, shuddering as he remember those sleepless nights he had heard Hobbes yelling up from the basement, "...So I stuffed him up there, he's been there since I got this studio."

Susie laughed, "Remember 'Mr. Bun'? I still have him as well, in my attic though, it's nice that you still have a strong connection with your childhood though," A smile flickered onto her face, "He looks as cute as ever, you should dust him off."

'Yeah,' Hobbes said hollowly, 'You should.'

Calvin groaned, Hobbes was back to 'being alive' for the day, "Not now..." Calvin muttered to himself, it was hard enough to have the tiger talking when he was alone, but with other people around...

"Is everything okay?" Susie frowned as Calvin rubbed his head.

"...Headache..." He lied, "Must have stayed up too late, I should probably turn in early tonight..." He trailed off, leaving the cue for Susie to go.

"Oh Calvin!" Susie cried, "Did to stay up trying to finish these pictures, I told you to take your time!" Susie glanced down at the folder in her hand, looking guilty. A small smile appeared on Calvin's face at her concern.

"Don't worry Derkins," Calvin muttered, "I would have been up anyways."

"Then I should leave," Susie said, "I don't want to keep you," She shook her head, "You realize how important sleep is, right, you shouldn't stay up like that-"

"It's really is fine Susie," Calvin said, standing up. She nodded quickly, heading towards the door.

"I'll talk to you tomorrow then, see you Calvin!" She said.

"Bye Derkins," Calvin replied, forcing a smile as he waved. His facial expression completely changed as the door shut, going from cheery to frustrated in seconds. He glared up at the tiger, "Couldn't have waited for her to leave?"

'You didn't have to make her leave like that,' Hobbes said, 'Didn't have to lie to her.'

"Well, then you shouldn't have started blabbering," Calvin replied, "You know how hard it is for me to think with both you and someone else chattering away. And of course I had to lie- what was I supposed to say? 'Oh, sorry Susie, could you excuse me? My tiger wants to talk! Oh, what was that? My tiger? Yes, he does talk, at least to me, drives me up the wall, but I've learned to deal with it, since he won't leave me alone!'"

Hobbes looked down at Calvin, blinking, as if he was holding back tears. Calvin shook his head- tigers didn't cry, especially stuffed tigers. _Especially_ hallucinations.

'I just don't like being alone,' Hobbes whispered, 'And it's getting harder and harder every day.'

"What's getting harder?" Calvin snapped at him, "Showing up? Does that mean that you'll stop showing up soon? That would be nice. The sooner you stay a stuffed toy, the better. Please don't take your time, if there is anything I could do to help just let me know! I just want to have a normal life!"

'Calvin...' Hobbes muttered, gulping, 'Could you...?' He trailed off, looking away. Calvin studied him for a moment. Hobbes looked back at him, then he spoke up again, 'Do you think you could... dust me off, maybe...?'

Calvin stared at him.

Hobbes brushed some of the dust of off him, sending a small plume down towards the ground, 'It's very stuffy up here, and since you don't want me down, could you just...? I'll be quiet...'

"You should be just fine with it being 'stuffy' Calvin replied, "You're just a stuffed toy after all," Calvin sat down at his desk, turning away from the tiger.

'I was more than that,' Hobbes said, almost fiercely. Calvin didn't turn around, 'I wasn't just always a toy. I was a companion, a playmate. I- I was your best friend Calvin,' Hobbes's voice broke a little, 'And you were mine... So what if others can't see me, _you_ can. Doesn't that mean anything to you? You had no friends Calvin, so I became one for you. We went on adventures- we went back in time! You were in a situation where you didn't feel like you could talk to your parents, to anyone! But you'd talk to me! You'd play with me, I was a friend for you when you were lonely...'

Calvin clenched his fists, still not turning around, "..."

'Calvin, you were more than a best friend to me though,' Hobbes said quietly, 'You were my only connection to this wonderful world. I don't know what I am- a toy, a figment of your imagination, a friend made up for someone that had none, or maybe I really am here... But Calvin, I never saw you as my friend. You were always a brother to me, someone that I could count on. Someone that would always forgive me, someone that would always love me... I don't want to lose that...' Tears pricked the tiger's eyes, 'Please Calvin! I don't want to lose that!'

" _Shut up!"_ Calvin roared, springing to his feet, "Shut the heck up!" He screamed to the toy, "You know what your are to me?! Do you want to know what _I_ see you as!?" Calvin huffed, glaring at the tiger in the wagon, "You are a constant reminder that I am not whole! A reminder that I am not normal!" He pinched the bridge of his nose, "Do you know what that does to me?" Calvin hissed, "Do you know what it is like to live everyday knowing that there is something wrong with me?! I've had enough! I've had enough of you! Everyday- every freaking day I come down here, listening to your rants and wishes, to your stupid sarcastic comments! I've put up with the fact that I am not completely here, I've put up with knowing that I literally had _no one_ as a child! No friends, parents I didn't understand! I know that I was so desperate for _something_ that I created _you_ \- An imaginary friend that my childhood self believed was real," Calvin started crying, "Someone I believed that would protect me, and would love me... Someone that would be my friend..." Calvin sank down, "I just wanted someone to love me, someone to understand me..."

'Calvin-!'

Calvin looked up, eyes red and full of tears, but he was angry, "But I don't need that anymore! I have friends, I have a job, I have a relationship with my family! I have what I need, and what I don't need is _you!"_ He gritted his teeth, "I don't need you anymore! Do you hear me, you've served your purpose, you were a fake comfort to a boy who had no one! Now I have something- so leave me alone! _Leave me alone so I can live my life!"_ Calvin hollered up at the tiger, tears pouring down his face. He was huffing, glaring at the shaking tiger. Tears flowed from his eyes, and the tiger looked away. Hobbes didn't say another word, but went still. Calvin didn't look away until the animated tiger was fully gone and replaced with a dusty toy.

Calvin took in several shaky breaths, trying to calm himself as he wiped away a few stray tears. He knew his yelling had done nothing- Hobbes would be back tomorrow. He always was. Calvin forced himself to turn away, ignoring the aching in his heart as he tried to draw, but nothing came. Calvin sat in his studio for another two hours, pencil hovering over the paper, but he wasn't able to draw one more line. Finally he let out an annoyed snarled, packing up his tools, and rushing out the studio door, not even looking at the toy tiger.

He didn't notice a drop of water as it slid down the stuffed animal's face, clearing away a thin line of gray dust as it fell from the tiger's eye.

* * *

Calvin didn't know how long his freedom would last, though he didn't expect more than a day until Hobbes would reanimate himself, and probably start griping about how dusty the shelf was or how the wagon squeaked when he shifted- anything to bother or get Calvin's attention.

But to his surprise the tiger didn't bother him from the rest of the week.

Calvin looked up hesitantly at the lifeless form of Hobbes as he closed up for the weekend. Usually the weekends were the days he looked forward to the most, a few days to be without the tiger. Calvin found that he almost went crazy if he kept the tiger in a closet or in the attic, so his studio was the most tolerable place for both of them. Usually as Calvin got ready to leave for the weekend Hobbes would rant on about how dark and cold it was when he wasn't there, but this time the tiger stayed still.

"I'll see you-" Calvin stopped himself, shaking his head. Why was he doing this, this was the first time in years he had been able to keep 'Hobbes' under control. He didn't need to ruin it by old habits, he didn't need his mind to hallucinate Hobbes again. He stared at the tiger to make sure, but Hobbes didn't stir. Calvin let out a sigh of relief, so far so good, he was safe from his own mind.

Susie was waiting for him at the corner like she always did every friday. She waved a hand as Calvin approached, running up to him, "Hey Calvin, good news! The publisher loves your paintings, and they're already starting to put the story together for printing!" She flashed him a smile, "They want to use page five as the cover, but I think you should get the final say, it is your art after all!"

"Hmm," Calvin muttered, staring at the ground.

"Hey," Susie asked, tilting her head, "Is everything alright?"

"...No," Calvin said honestly, sticking his hands in his pockets, "I haven't been able to draw anything all week, artist block, I guess... I haven't been able to draw anything since after you came to pick up the paintings..."

Susie blinked, "Was it something I did?"

"No," Calvin said, "I think it was my fault..." He muttered, "I mean, I was just fine until I yelled at Hobbes like that-" Calvin froze, realizing what he had just said.

"...'At Hobbes'? Susie asked, confused.

"Heh- nothing!" Calvin quickly cried, "Just a joke, that's all! Work's really been great!"

Susie glared at him, seeing right through his lies, "I have a Phd in psychology, remember?" She asked.

" _Child_ psychology," Calvin corrected, not looking her in the eye, "I was just joking about the yelling thing, you know me, the prankster! Heh..."

Susie wasn't convinced, "Yeah, a prank you've been setting up since tuesday?" She asked, "Only to drop it as soon as you say it? Because you've been acting off ever since I came by your work. Calvin, is something wrong?" She asked, worry in her tone, "Is it your parents again or-"

Calvin chewed on his lips, Susie was just too observant and too caring for her own good. He had backed himself into a corner, what was he supposed to say? She hadn't mentioned his 'Hobbes' comment again, but she'd remember it. She a memory like an elephant. Calvin thought back on what Hobbes had said, he had been lying to one of his first real friends for years. Hiding the fact that there was something wrong with him, why shouldn't he trust Susie enough to tell her? Besides, his Hobbes hallucinations hadn't happened for the last three days, he had this under control now. If there was a time to tell then it was now.

"Do you remember when we were kids?" Calvin asked, "Do you remember my friends?"

Susie watched him, "We'd play together sometimes, but other than that I never saw you with anyone. You'd always play with your stuffed tiger though, and you seemed happy enough, even without friends," Susie looked away, "I'm sorry for how I treated you then-"

"If anyone should be sorry it's me," Calvin said, "I was the jerk, but that's not what I'm trying to talk about. It's Hobbes," He looked away.

"Hobbes?" She asked, waiting for him to continue.

"When I was a kid, Hobbes wasn't a toy to me," Calvin said, "He was a real tiger. I don't mean I pretended or imagined him to be one, I truly believed he was a real tiger. I- I _saw_ him move about on his own, he had a voice, a personality, likes and dislikes- I could go on all day. As a child I was convinced that I had a tiger for a best friend. And who was to tell me that I was wrong, I _saw_ him moving around like a real person..."

Calvin trailed off, sighing.

"That's understandable," Susie said, standing up straighter as they walked, "Children often find ways to cope with hard situations, and-"

"But it never stopped," Calvin interrupted, "I grew up, and Hobbes remained... 'animated', alive. He'd talked to me still, and soon I realized that things like that weren't normal, that stuff like that didn't happen..." Calvin closed his eyes, "I tried putting him in storage, but I always heard him screaming for me, so he stayed in my bedroom. This went on through middle and high school..." Calvin cringed, "Soon it became clear that something wasn't right with me, but Hobbes never went away... Finally I stuck him in my studio so I wouldn't hallucinate him screaming for me every time I tried to put him away, but he still talked to me while I worked..."

Calvin didn't look up, not knowing how Susie would react.

"...So when you said you yelled at Hobbes..." She muttered.

"I meant that I was yelling at him," Calvin finished, "I- I told him to leave me alone. I'm so sick of it! I'm sick of hallucinating him every time I go in there! I just snapped, and I was screaming, and- and-" Calvin was surprised as two tears pricked his eyes, "I haven't seen him since. T-three whole days now... that's a record too, besides the weekends... But that's because I'm not there..."

"That's good," Susie said, forcing Calvin to face her as they stopped, "I don't know why you chose to keep this to yourself, but at least you have an understanding of the situation," She took a deep breath, trying to think, "I know someone at work, she'll be able to help you- Calvin, look at me- we'll get this sorted out, okay, I promise," Her voice had changed, and Calvin stiffened. She wasn't talking to him like he was her friend, but a child that needed help, and he pulled himself out of her grip.

"Don't do that!" He snapped, anger entering his tone, "Don't treat me like I'm a kid- like I can't understand!"

Her gaze softened, "I didn't mean that Calvin," She said softly, "But what you just said, it's not a small thing! I just want to help-"

"You don't know what it's like!" Calvin yelled at her, "You don't know what it's like to realize that the only friend you had ever had isn't truly there! You don't know what it's like to see the pain in their eyes and hurt in their voice as you tell them that! You don't know what it's like to realize that you truly are alone!" Calvin broke down, shaking, "He was the only person that ever understood me, and- and- and I just yelled at him like he didn't even matter!"

Calvin sank down to his knees, shaking as Susie tried to drag him up, "Calvin, stand up," She whispered, "Come on, people are watching-"

" _I don't care!"_ Calvin screamed, "I never cared before what people thought of me- why should I now?!"

"Calvin, we're going to get you help, it's okay-"

"H-help?"

"Yes, help," Susie said gently, "Come on Calvin, stand up, it's okay-"

Calvin stumbled to his feet, watching Susie. He stared down at her, sides heaving as he tried to breath. Help, he didn't need help, he had it under control-

"Control..." He muttered, "No I don't..." He thought back on his relationship with Hobbes for the last few years, it had been nothing but Hobbes begging to be treated like he was real, and him doing nothing but demanding that Hobbes left, but Hobbes never had. Never until this week...

" _I don't need you anymore!"_ Calvin cringed as he thought back on his own words. Never had he said something like that before. He always demanded that Hobbes leave, but never had he told Hobbes that he wasn't needed, and after he had... Hobbes was gone.

Calvin shivered, thinking back on Hobbes's desperate pleas. Hobbes had never pushed him these days, only asked to be acknowledged... _Begged_ to be recognized.

Calvin stumbled back towards the studio, "What have I done..." He muttered to himself, "I shouldn't have said that..."

"Calvin, where are you going?" Susie asked, trotting to keep pace with him, "Calvin, look at me."

"I need to get back to the studio," He said, "Something's wrong, something's really wrong. He always comes back after a day, no matter what... Something's wrong..."

"Calvin!" Susie cried, stepping in front of him, "Nothing's wrong- that's good. It's good if these- hallucinations aren't showing up every day-"

"Get out of my way!" Calvin snarled with a foreign ferocity, and Susie stumbled back. Calvin stormed past her, rushing towards to his small studio. He fumbled for the key, shoving it into the lock. The door clicked open, and Calvin burst into the room, "Hobbes!" He cried, "Hobbes!"

He flicked on the lightswitch, and there was Hobbes, slumped over in the wagon like he always was, dusty and lifeless. Calvin stared at the small stuffed toy for a moment, looking for the familiar flicker in those dark eyes before he'd come to life. Calvin rushed to his desk, grabbing his chair and dragging it over to the shelf. He quickly stumbled up, chair squeaking as he stood on it, level with the old shelf.

Calvin stared at the tiger for a moment, realizing this was the closest he had been to Hobbes in the longest time. He reached forward, hands shaking slightly as his fingers wrapped around the familiar toy in the first time in forever. Dust fell as he picked up the limp tiger, having lost much of his stuffing over the years. There were several stitches on the Hobbes, where his mother had to patch him up after all of their adventures.

Calvin gulped as he brought the old tiger out of the wagon, "Hobbes," He whispered to the toy, "Say something."

A pair of button eyes stared back.

Calvin stepped off of the chair, brushing the dust from off of the tiger. He had forgotten how vivid of an orange Hobbes was, even if the fabric had dulled over time. There was a small indent in the tiger's arm from where he had dragged the toy around through all those years, and one of his ears was crooked. Calvin carefully turned the toy over, clearing more dust away, then had the tiger facing him once more.

"Come on bud..." Calvin said quietly, "I know you're there, some something... You're always there, just say something," He said again, choking on his words, "Y-you're always there, you were always there for me, come on..."

"Calvin."

Susie had entered the studio, huffing in exhaustion. Running in high heels had not been an easy task. She looked towards her longtime friend, who was staring down at Hobbes desperately.

"H-hobbes..." Calvin whispered, "Hobbes...!"

"Calvin," Susie repeated, taking a step towards him, but he didn't seem to hear her.

"I- I- I'm sorry!" Calvin cried, "I'm so sorry Hobbes! P-please, say s-something! C-come back!"

Susie stared at him, watching tears enter the blond's eyes, "...Calvin?"

Calvin was shaking, clutching the toy. He stumbled back, sinking into the chair, "You were right... You w-were right!" He cried at the toy, "You were more than a f-friend! I'm sorry Hobbes, please come back, I'm s-sorry!"

Susie laid a hand on Calvin's shoulder, making him flinch, "It's okay Calvin," She whispered, "Please just calm down..."

He didn't respond, and Susie pulled out a cell phone, quietly dialing a number, "Hey? Marissa? It's me, I need your help..."

Calvin brought the small tiger into a hug, and the realization hitting him. Hobbes wasn't coming back, like he had told the tiger, he had served his purpose.

"I'm s-sorry Hobbes..." Calvin whispered, "I'm sorry..."

"Yes, quickly, please, he's very shaken up," Susie said into the phone.

Calvin bowed his head, tears falling, "...I'm sorry... Brother."

* * *

/*/*/

 _It's been a year since Hobbes left._

 _I dunno if you can call it a death, but that's what it felt like to me. I honestly don't know what hurts more; the fact that I will never hear Hobbes's voice again, or the pain of remembering how I had treated him before he left._

 _Or perhaps that it was my fault that he's gone in the first place._

 _Hobbes is still in my studio, I think some part believes he'll come back after all of this time, but I know that's not true. Hobbes is gone, but that's still something I haven't come to accept._

 _Marissa, Susie's coworker and my therapist, says that I've moved past all of this, but I'm sure that mostly from me pretending that everything is well. I've had years of practice doing that._

 _If one good thing has come out of this, it was the apology from my parents. I guess they never realized what Hobbes was to me, and hadn't fully understood my situation. They still don't, but the effort they have put in has made up for that. According to Susie the psyche of a child is still something we humans don't have a full understanding of, and in my time as a child there was even less known._

 _I don't think a lack of understanding is the problem though, I think the problem is our refusal to believe in the unknown. I've learned that acceptance is probably the hardest thing for us humans to feel. Sure, things like guilt and anger are emotions we don't enjoy feeling, but we still feel them with ease. Our species is slow to accept, to see what's in front of us unless it is engraven in iron. Perhaps that is the weakness to the human genius._

 _Sometimes I find myself falling back into the pit of doubt that held me back for so many years. Perhaps it was just a hallucination, a way to cope. Perhaps those feelings of sorrow for Hobbes's lost was just my way of letting go of my childhood, but in the end I can't deny what I saw when I went to put Hobbes back in the wagon._

 _Written there in the dust, in the bottom of the wagon next to the umbrella, the letters "C" and "H"._

 _It meant nothing to everyone else, anyone could have written it, but I know who did. Perhaps if I would have looked sooner I would have... or if I had simply trusted... But I didn't, and that is a mistake I'll be living with for the rest of my life._

 _I've learned a simple truth: adults are not the ones to understand. We learn, but in reality we hold nothing. Children are the ones that truly know, because they are the only ones that are willing to see._

/*/*/

Calvin set down his pen for a moment, staring down at the journal page. He closed his eyes, sighing, taking off his glasses and setting it down on his desk. The studio hadn't changed much in the course of the year, still as messy and chaotic as ever, yet still Calvin knew where to find anything he needed.

The only thing that had truly changed was the shelf.

The wagon still sat proudly up of it's wooden shelf, but it now gleamed bright red, tires pumped and dents smoothed out. Calvin had brought the wagon to his father, and they had been able to fix up the old toy with little ease. No longer did a rope and umbrella sit in the body of the wagon, but only a certain stuffed toy.

Dust no longer covered the tiger, but now he overlooked the small studio bright and clean. Calvin allowed his eyes to flicker up to Hobbes, who remained still as ever. A sad smile formed on the artist's face, but he didn't say a word. He simply turned back to his desk, shutting his journal and pushing it to the side. While Calvin still had a lot to do for his work, that didn't stop him from leaning back, closing his eyes and letting his mind wander to the farther corners of his memories.

After a moment Calvin's eyes snapped open, and he sat straight up. He turned to face the stuffed tiger, staring at it for a moment, blinking a few times. After a minute a true smile came onto the man's face, and he quickly grabbed a pencil and clean sheet of paper. He swept his current project aside, setting the paper down, pressing the pencil to the paper, and then for the first time in ages, Calvin began to draw with true purpose.

It was four simple panels, a basic cartoon drawing, but he drew in each figure carefully. Occasionally he paused, but never stopped for long until the sketch was done.

In the first panel there was a man and a young boy talking, and the words: 'So long Pop, I'm off to check my tiger trap!', and in the last panel was a drawing of a familiar tiger hanging upside-down, munching on a tunafish sandwich.

Calvin looked at the simple comic panels for a moment longer, then set his pencil down on top, turning once more to face Hobbes.

"I know I won't forget," He told the tiger, "But that's not enough, but don't worry, now no one will forget you, Hobbes."

The tiger didn't move, just sat up on his shelf, but that seemed to be all the adult needed to see. With a true smile on his face, Calvin picked up the pencil and the sketch, realizing that some things could never truly die.


End file.
